A couple of weeks ago a dear friend was explaining the time she was spending in a local nursing facility with a woman who has dementia. She concluded by saying “But I’m not a nurse.” That struck me because everything she described was the essence of nursing including the process she used to identify a very challenging problem and to find effective solutions. Innately,she had applied nursing process to deliver care. My response to her was that there are people who are called to be a nurse and some obtain education to make it a nursing career. She seems to be one who could have had the calling but pursued other opportunities for a career.
As I considered accepting the invitation to write an article for this newsletter with this incident fresh in my mind, I thought of exploring the age old “a calling, a career, or both” debate. My thoughts were drawn instead to the word sacrifice. One of the dictionary definitions of sacrifice is “to give up something that is valuable to you in order to help another person.” (Cambridge University Dictionary)
My friend is making a difference in the life of an elderly woman with severe dementia because she is willing to sacrifice. While her “job” is to show up and feed this woman who has lost capacity for all self care, she is making sacrifices. She sacrifices time to prepare for each visit, creating unique ways to connect meaningfully and ways to bring calm and connectedness. She is willing to sacrifice time away from her own family to give time to another family devastated by their mother’s condition. She sacrifices by taking a risk, wondering if she can make the situation better when she could choose to stay within her comfort zone and not go above and beyond.
Nursing can be a calling and it can be a career. I’ve observed many excellent nurses who joined the profession because they felt God had created them to minister as a nurse as well asnurses who joined our ranks because it was a career path for advancement and economic security…or both. Unfortunately, I have seen the reverse. As a nurse manager for most of my active duty nursing, I gave much lower ratings to some who came into nursing for the very same reasons, a calling or a career path. So what made the difference? What was the “secret sauce” in those who excelled? Perhaps it has something to do with sacrifice, the willingness to give just a little extra of themselves to those entrusted in their care, to look outside of their personal needs and recognize the needs in others.
In 2018, I spent most of the year in treatment for breast cancer. I was (and am) blessed to have many friends, and a goodly number who are nurses, who sacrificed a little of their time to encourage me, educate me, and humor me. I am forever indebted to them for seeing me through the challenge. I was also fortunate to receive care from a number of individuals, nurses and others, who did not know I was a nurse and gave me no special “insider” care other than what they give all their patients. Some of the best ones made sacrifices in their all-too-busy days,small sacrifices of time to let me ask a question, to meet an anticipated need before I even knew I had one, to give my family updates and direction even when not essential, or offer a cup of coffee or a drink of water. Some who had only momentary contact with me offered a kind smile or a reassuring touch on my arm. It all made a difference…it all makes a big difference.
So as I’m not misunderstood, no patient wants their nurse to be a martyr, no employer wants overtime, and no family wants mom or dad home late every day from work. I’m sure we can all recall a nurse who fits one of those categories. The sacrifice I’m speaking of is the willingness to give something of value, brief moments of precious time to offer a human touch out of a genuine concern in the midst of otherwise bustling impersonal routines. The power of a sacrifice, no matter how small, should not be underestimated or underappreciated.
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